Signs You’re Not Getting Lucky Tonight

This is for you guys. A woman can get lucky whenever she feels like it, but unfortunately that’s not always the case for menfolk. Here are the signs you should watch out for so you don’t waste your time!

She Says She’s on Her Period

Guess what? She’s probably not! Muahahaha.

Her Body Language

If her back is facing to you more than her front, you’ve already lost.

She’s Got a CB With Her

Yup, if she’s got that ugly friend who wants to drag her home and away from you … 99 percent of the time she’s just gonna go with the friend. Never mess with a c—block.

She Insists on Buying Her Own Drinks

She doesn’t want to owe you anything.

It’s a Sausage Fest

Come on, I had to throw an obvious one in there!

She Keeps Saying She’s Tired

This can be either via text or in person. I think every guy is familiar with this one, either from your wife or from a girl you’re pursuing.

She Doesn’t Look Good

If you’re at home and she’s lounging around in sweats with no makeup on, her confidence level is at a low. If she doesn’t feel sexy, the likelihood of sex has dropped big time.

She Says She Has a Headace

Just like her period, she doesn’t.

‘The Real Housewives’ is on

Yea, you definitely ain’t getting any honey!

She’s Mentioned the Word Cuddle

If you haven’t even gotten into foreplay and this word comes up, you might as well pull up Safari on that iPhone and hit up RedTube.

She Doesn’t Respond to Your Touch

If you’re the only one doing the touching, you will go no further.

She Brings Up Something Totally Unsexy

Like your mother. She’s deflecting, and she just won.

You Got the Eye Roll

My favorite facial expression! This means no more than the word “no” does.

She Hasn’t Shaved

Most women get self conscious if they haven’t shaved, and I’m not just talking about legs and armpits bali. Some women will intentionally not shave before going to to stop themselves from a random hook-up because they don’t want to be embarrassed.

She Tells You to Get Off

You’ve heard it. You’ve heard it a hundred times. An oldie, but a goodie.